Regret
by Devi-Yosh
Summary: Having about enough of the constant RESETs, Sans lashed out at his brother and friend. The next day, the RESET never came, and everyone remembers Sans' cruel deeds. He struggles to earn Grillby's forgiveness, and Papyrus is there to help him. (Undertale spoilers / inspired by sushinfood of Tumblr's "you don't matter" audio clips / rated T for harsh language/ long one-shot)


_"I'll see you tomorrow."_

 _"No, you won't! You'll never see me tomorrow! You may see anyone else, but you won't see me! Now_ _ **leave**_ _!"_

The events that happened last night kept replaying in Sans' head. He sighed heavily as he laid in his bed, not feeling like getting up and getting ready for yet another pointless day of scouring the forest for that damn human. He just didn't feel like doing much of anything.

But he knew he had to. He didn't need a swarm of Papyrus' endless questions and nagging driving him back into that momentary state of insanity. Yesterday - or rather today in the most recent timeline - he had gotten so fed up with the constant RESETs that he lashed out at Papyrus and Grillby. If he hadn't snapped out of his state he might've even killed his own brother. Even when the world would just RESET again and it wouldn't have mattered in the end, he still would never have forgiven himself.

Though, that probably wouldn't have mattered, either actually. Perhaps he killed Papyrus multiple times in past timelines that he couldn't remember, and at this point it didn't even matter to him anymore because it happened so long ago - all on the same exact day. It was starting to drive him crazy.

Later on that same night he got on Grillby's case as well, and he couldn't help but feel guilty for how poorly he had treated one of his oldest friends. The worst part was he showed no signs of forgiving him for his cruel behavior; of course Papyrus forgave him because he was a kind monster, as well as his brother, but Grillby never tolerated being treated unfairly. It's no surprise he hadn't forgiven him. But now it doesn't matter, because the world had been RESET, just as it always is by the end of the day. His feeling of guilt evaporated almost as quickly as it came.

Rolling his eyes in frustration, Sans sat up with an exasperated grunt and yawned. He spent a few minutes changing into his signature hoodie and slippers before trudging heavily down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Hey, Papyrus," he grumbled, trying to rub sleep out of his eyes. He looked up when no loud and friendly shout greeted him, and he found his brother was nowhere to be seen; there wasn't even any spaghetti made.

Sans' nonexistent heart lurched in fear. Had the human come to kill him early in the morning or something?

No, that couldn't have happened. Everything always replays itself every day, so perhaps Papyrus had gone out to recalibrate his puzzles. Sans did wake up late after all.

Sans shrugged dismissively and made his way over to Grillby's. He did not feel like doing his job as a sentry today. Right now he just needed a few bottles of ketchup and then another nap. He'd work once the timeline RESETs again.

The skeletal monster opened the door and found himself smiling a bit at the comforting warmth the restaurant emitted. He greeted the Royal Guard dogs and other monsters hanging out in the restaurant as he made his way over to the bar table. He sat on the stool and forced a smile at Grillby.

"Yo, Grillby," he chuckled. "Can I get a basket of fries with a bottle of ketchup?"

However, for once Grillby didn't greet him. He didn't joke about Sans not paying his tab, he didn't go off to prepare the food... He didn't even look at him. It was as if Sans was never even there; the fire elemental was just going about his business watching over the restaurant and cleaning glasses.

"Uhh, Grillby?" Sans tried again. "You feeling okay, buddy?"

Grillby continued to ignore him. Sans found himself growing irritated at his friend's sudden rudeness, and he burrowed his brows a bit.

"Hey, Grillby, why are you ignoring me? It's not like I'm invisible or anything."

"Oh, but apparently **I** am," Grillby replied, his voice low and full of anger. Sans' eye sockets widened in surprise and he stiffened as the fire elemental turned to glare at him. "After all, I don't matter to you."

"Wh-Wha?..." Sans gulped heavily, his nonexistent stomach twisting up in worry. "What are you talking about, Grillby?"

"I remember what you said to me last night. Do you believe that, just because it's a new day, I'll immediately think nothing of it? You hurt me, Sans, for no reason. I told you you wouldn't see me today, so consider yourself extremely lucky I haven't burned you to the ground."

"What are you?..." Sans stammered. Why the heck was Grillby acting this way? Where did he even get this information from? He couldn't have known, the timeline RESET. Unless...

The time didn't really RESET.

"Er... Grillby-" Sans began, trying to backtrack.

"I'm not hearing any of it, Sans," Grillby growled, turning away from his friend. "Please leave my restaurant."

"Grillby, just listen to me-"

" **LEAVE!** "

The entire restaurant froze up in alarm. Heads turned to face Grillby, their eyes wide and their mouths gaping; they had never heard the usually soft-spoken fire elemental raise his voice, especially at his best customer and closest friend. But there he was, glaring menacingly at the monster whom he had once called a friend, his flames crackling and blazing dangerously hot.

Sans stared back at his furious friend in pure surprise. His eternal grin fell into a frown, which barely anyone had ever seen before from the laid back and content skeletal monster.

Sans was about to try again to reason with the livid fire elemental, but he knew that all he would get out of him at this point would most likely be another slap across the face. He felt tears beginning to build up at the corners of his eyes.

He really screwed up this time.

The skeletal monster finally let out a heavy sigh of defeat and hung his head. Muttering a barely audible, "I'm sorry..." he slid out of his seat and slowly headed towards the door, his hands in his pockets and his hoodie over his head to try and block his tear-soaked cheekbones from the others. Once he reached the door, he dared to look back at Grillby one last time, but the fire elemental had walked into the kitchen. Sniffling, his body aching with grief and regret, Sans left the restaurant.

* * *

Papyrus hummed to himself as he stirred the spaghetti in the pot of boiling water. He was alarmed to find he had run out this morning, so he went out to buy some more from the Snowdin shop. When he returned he found that Sans wasn't there, and he assumed he had gone off to Grillby's. Frustrated, Papyrus proceeded to prepare breakfast spaghetti for himself alone.

The front door opened and closed, and Papyrus stood upright in surprise. He looked through the doorway and saw Sans closing and locking the door behind him.

"Sans!" Papyrus called out to his older brother, his voice full of astonishment. "Were you at Grillby's? You're home an hour earlier than usual!"

Sans looked up at his brother and didn't speak a word, but the younger brother quickly saw the tears streaming down his face glistening in the light. Concerned and worried, he quickly abandoned his spaghetti to rush to his brother's side.

"Sans, are you okay?" he fretted, kneeling down to his side. "Why are you crying? Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened..." Sans muttered softly, refusing to look up at Papyrus.

"Sans, you're crying. Somehting clearly happened. Please tell me."

"I said nothing happened, Papyrus. Leave me alone."

Papyrus stayed silent. He couldn't bare to see his brother in so much pain and suffering. He hugged him close and squeezed tight. "Sans. Is this about last night? Is this about the RESETs?"

"M-More or less," Sans finally admitted after a long moment of hesitation. He began to sniffle and whimper as his emotions slid out of his control until finally he hugged Papyrus back and began sobbing into his chest. Papyrus squeezed a bit tighter as he rubbed Sans' back.

"Go ahead. Let it all out," he spoke soothingly. "You're going to be okay. You're Sans."

"B-But I'm not!" Sans choked through his tears, his voice muffled through Papyrus' battle body. "I... Oh, Papyrus... I've made such an awful decision last night..."

"Care to tell me about it?" Papyrus offered gently. He picked Sans up and sat him down on their couch before sitting down next to him.

Sans stayed silent, trying to wipe away his tears and choke back more sobs. "Last night... after I left for Grillby's... I treated him really badly. I was so nasty to him. I... I was having fun, though. I was really upsetting him. I wanted to see just how far Grillby could be pushed before he finally snapped. And when I did... it felt awful. But it felt good at the same time. Grillby... kicked me out of the restaurant last night. And he kicked me out again today. I thought that I could just do whatever I wanted for once because the damn kid would just RESET the world again and it wouldn't even matter in the end, but... the world didn't for some reason. Now Grillby remembers what I told him."

Sans began to chuckle pathetically. "Hehehe... It's ironic, isn't it? Usually I dread the RESETs. I don't want to wake up to the exact same thing again. But now... I want it to happen so badly. I didn't think anyone mattered. Everyone's just not alive to me anymore, you all feel like nothing but little insignificant characters in some video game. But I do know that you all still matter at least a little bit to me because Grillby is my friend and you are my brother. I just want this all to fucking **end**!" Sans broke down, letting out fresh sobs, as he hugged himself for support.

"Oh, Sans..." Papyrus whispered helplessly. It completely shattered his heart seeing his usually carefree and laid back brother broken and bawling his eyes out. The younger brother gently pulled him in for another hug and rested his chin on his head, letting him cry into his chest again. "Sans, you don't need to worry. I'll help you through these trying times. I'll find a way to make things right between you and Grillby until the next RESET."

* * *

Papyrus had spent all morning and afternoon trying to cheer Sans back up so he could nap peacefully, even going so far as to listen to all his horrible jokes and puns and trying to muster up the best laugh he could. He had to admit that some of them were humorous - no pun intended - but most of them were pretty annoying. He went through it for Sans, though, and he felt it was all worth it in the end as Sans had cheered up quite a bit afterwards. After making him spaghetti and tucking him into bed, he made his way to Grillby's in the early evening.

The taller skeletal monster walked into the restaurant and was immediately greeted with the disgusting scent of grease. He absolutely despised this place, only ever coming over to retrieve Sans when he'd been hanging out here for too long or to drink milk when Sans persuaded him to come over - that's how he became so much taller than his older brother.

Dogamy and Dogaressa were the only two monsters in the restaurant, busily nuzzling noses together and giggling soft words of love to one another. Grillby himself was wiping down the counter with a damp cloth. When he looked up to see who had walked in he froze.

"Papyrus?" Grillby spoke in bewilderment. The taller skeletal monster never liked to come to his restaurant due to the grease; he'd only ever come to collect Sans whenever he'd spend too much time there, or when he dragged his younger brother along for a bite to eat. Papyrus has come here all on his own this time around, but why?

"Grillby, can I speak to you about something?" Papyrus asked quietly as he walked up to the counter, trying not to catch the dogs' attention. "It's... It's about Sans."

Papyrus noticed a small spark of frustration fly from Grillby's head, but he said nothing about it.

"Now, hear me out before you say anything please," Papyrus began. "Sans told me that he... well, he hurt your feelings pretty badly last night."

"He did," Grillby confirmed, trying to keep his voice calm.

"I... I don't entirely understand what's going on, at least not on Sans' level, but please understand that he's going through a lot right now. If I know my brother - which I do - I know he didn't mean what he said. He cherishes his friends and holds them close to him. He was just having a, well, bad time."

"I understand he was upset, but that gave him no reason to treat me like garbage," Grillby retorted.

"You're right, it doesn't, but everyone has those off days where they just can't help but snap under the pressure they're enduring," Papyrus tried to reason. "Please do understand that Sans didn't mean whatever negative things he said, Grillby. If you wish to talk to him yourself to understand what he's going through, or to support him, or whatever you wish, go right ahead. And if you don't want to, that's fine, too, I suppose. Just know that Sans is very sorry."

"If he were so sorry, he would have told me himself."

"He tried, but you kicked him out. That's what Sans told me."

Grillby fell silent, a sudden wave of regret washing over him. It was true, Sans was trying to apologize, but he wouldn't listen to him. He knew of Sans' past where he'd have a lot of trouble dealing with things, hence why he'd stay at the restaurant so late at night refusing to go back home. He should have known. He should have **known**!

The fire elemental let out a shaky sigh before looking back up at Papyrus. "I close up shop in an hour. I'll come over then after I clean up."

"Very well," Papyrus nodded. "See you then, Grillby."

* * *

Grillby sighed in satisfaction as he cleaned up the last of Doggo's smoked dog treat ashes off the floor. The restaurant now looked just as good as it had when he first opened up early in the morning, filling the fire elemental with pride.

His pride dissolved quickly once he remembered his promise to Papyrus. A part of him didn't want to go in fear of Sans saying something hurtful to him again, or worse: he'd hit him again. But he knew he had to. Papyrus was right, Sans wouldn't have said those things to him unless he was going through something terrible, especially not after the joyful times they shared together in the past.

Grillby left the warmth of the restaurant after turning off the lights and locked the door behind him. The air was still, not a single snowflake to be seen save for the blanket of them on the ground, which sizzled and melted under Grillby's feet. He walked east to Sans' and Papyrus' house slowly, going over what he might say to Sans to help him, to forgive him, to apologize to him.

Once he reached the front door, he gave it a little knock and waited for someone to answer. After a few moments, the door unlocked and opened from the other side, and he was greeted by a slightly down-hearted-looking Papyrus. He mustered up a smile once he saw who was at the door.

"Ah, Grillby, thanks for coming," he greeted. "Come on in."

"Thank you, Papyrus," the fire elemental thanked before stepping into the home. He had been in the skeletons' house a few times before in the past to help them when they were children. This is the first time Grillby came over since both brothers grew up into young adults, and nothing had changed much at all.

"Would you like some refreshments?" Papyrus offered.

Grillby couldn't help but chuckle. The younger of the brothers was always such a wonderful and polite host. "Thank you for the offer, but no. I'll be heading home soon anyway. Where is Sans?"

"He's in his room," the taller skeletal monster replied. "If you would like, have a seat on the couch while I get him. And I apologize in advance for its low quality, Undyne was over yesterday before this whole ordeal happened."

"Thank you," Grillby replied. He sat down on the couch - it was really uncomfortable as Papyrus said - and waited as the younger brother trotted up the stairs and down the hall to Sans' room.

He heard Papyrus knock on the door and call, "Sans, can you come out for a minute, please? Someone's here to see you." Sans' voice was heard, but Grillby couldn't make out what he said, and Papyrus replied, "Please just come out, Sans. I promise you this will help you."

A few moments went by before the bedroom door finally opened, and Sans slowly walked out. "Fine... Who is it?"

"Come on down," was Papyrus' response. He lead his older brother down the stairs, and it wasn't until they reached the bottom that Sans looked up and saw Grillby. The fire elemental felt a fresh wave of regret wash over him as the skeletal monster's face contorted in fear and sorrow upon seeing him; Grillby had to look away, unable to continue looking at the heartbreaking expression.

"Sans, Grillby wishes to speak with you about what happened last night," Papyrus began, speaking gently to his older brother.

"I-I don't..." Sans tried to protest, his voice shaking. He reluctantly followed his younger brother as he approached the couch and gestured for him to sit down next to Grillby, which he did. Neither monster nor elemental looked at each other or spoke, until Papyrus cleared his throat in a fashion that told them to start talking.

"Sans," Grillby decided to begin, trying to carefully choose his words. "Papyrus came by the restaurant earlier today. He told me what was going on."

Sans didn't speak, so Grillby decided to continue. "Your brother had a point. You and I... we go way back. We've been friends ever since you and Papyrus moved to Snowdin, many years ago. I... I should have known something was getting to you, but I was too distracted by my own hurt feelings to consider yours. Or rather, I should have tried harder to consider yours."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Sans finally spoke softly, his voice cracked with grief. "It's my fault, okay, not yours."

"I still had the power to help you, but instead I kicked you out, and without even giving you a chance to apologize for what you said. My offer still stands, Sans: you're welcome to tell me about any of your troubles. After all, you provide an ear for listening when I have my own conundrums. I apologize, Sans, for everything."

"Well, apology accepted, even though it isn't necessary," Sans shrugged dismissively. "And... I'm sorry, too. I really am, Grillby. I'm just so... sick and tired of everything that's been going on. And I'm tired of explaining it time and time again to you and Papyrus. I don't know how much longer I can stand this."

Sans jumped a bit as he felt Grillby place a hand on his shoulder. "Sans. I see how much distress you're in. But just know that Papyrus and I both support you, and we'll help you in any way we can. All your other friends are there to help as well. Whatever this thing you're experiencing may be, it will end eventually. You just have to keep on holding on."

"That's right," Papyrus spoke up, shooting Sans a comforting smile. "We're all here to help, Sans. We'll all share your troubles and your burdens so you won't have to face them alone. We'll help you find the strength you need to get through these RESETs until finally we get that happy ending we've experienced before, and we'll make it stick. You just have to believe."

Sans began to sniffle, and he wiped his face with the sleeves of his jacket. "But how? This has been going on for so long. I can't take it anymore. I can't take being stuck on the same damn day!"

"Well, today's a new day, isn't it?" Papyrus pointed out gently. "After all, we remember what happened yesterday, do we not? Perhaps... Perhaps the human will finally decide to make this timeline the last they RESET in."

"Do you think so?" Sans whimpered.

"I can't say for certain, but I have a strong feeling about it. We all just have to stay determined. Remember what we said last night?"

Sans sniffed and nodded. "You said I'm real. And you are, too. And so is Grillby, and the dogs, and everyone else in the Underground. It's just... It doesn't feel that way anymore."

"Rest assured, we are real, as are you," Grillby spoke softly. "We'll all make it through this together, as friends should. Papyrus and I both believe that, so you should, too."

"Okay..." Sans sniffled once more, wiping his tears away. He mustered up a smile for his brother and friend. "Thanks, you guys... You really are the greatest friends anyone can ask for."

"Just doing our jobs at putting up with you," Papyrus teased gently with a chuckle, making Sans' smile grow. "It's not easy, but someone has to do it."

"And Sans," Grillby piped in, bowing his head a bit in a playful manner. "I expect to see you at the restaurant ordering hash browns and extra ketchup on time tomorrow morning, or I'll want to hear about it."

Sans couldn't suppress a small burst of laughter despite himself. "You betcha, Grillby. Thanks for accepting my apology."

"That's what friends are for," Grillby replied warmly. He let out a yawn, his gaping white mouth showing on his flame-engulfed face, and he rose to his feet. "I'm afraid I must head home now. I want to get as much rest as possible before serving Sans ten times over tomorrow."

"Fair enough," Papyrus smiled, following Grillby to the door alongside Sans. "Thanks again for stopping by, Grillby."

"Anytime. I'll see you two tomorrow. Good night."

"Night, Grillbz," Sans chuckled. He and Papyrus both watched Grillby leave before closing the door once again, and almost immediately Papyrus was nearly tackled to the ground as Sans threw himself at him with a hug.

"Whoa, easy now!" Papyrus yelped in surprise after he regained his footing.

"Thank you so much, Papyrus," Sans sniffled, his voice muffled through Papyrus' evening shirt. "You're the best brother I could ever ask for."

Papyrus chuckled affectionately before hugging him back. "It's what brothers are for, Sans. I'll always be here to help and support you no matter what."


End file.
